This is a bold statement to make, so let me explain.

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Yes, it’s true. I did become a single mother twice in these last two years. But how could that be?

Let’s start from the beginning. My marriage started in a whirlwind. First, I was pregnant with my daughter as I wobbled down the aisle donning a white strapless dress. This, of course, wasn’t my ideal wedding but I didn’t want to have another baby out of wedlock.

So, we went to a wedding while I was pregnant. I was going to get married to my now husband anyway. …

A poem

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Why don’t you laugh with me like that?
You make everyone else feel welcome,
Yet when you turn your head to face the dissolving fizzle that once held strong in my water,
You get angry,
letting the fizzle continue to dissolve further.
I’m pushing you away further without any merger.

You make me sick.
The way you hold a pretentious shrine to that of candlelight that shows a slight shadow of who I once was before you cared,
before you dared to notice that you loved me.
Your love is dangerous.

It’s like a cancer quietly eating away at my…

Thank you. That is a good point. It's nice to know I am dealing with it now. It has to get better. Doing nothing means nothing will happen, good or bad.

It was not easy to ask for help.

Photo by Tammy Gann on Unsplash

There is no pretending. I have always struggled with my mental health. I mean, who wouldn’t when the only mom you ever knew died when you were nine years old. Then, five years later the only dad you knew is dead, too.

Ever since my mother’s death, I had a profound grip on what depression is. While it was fairly intense at times, even resulting in me telling my middle school friends I was going to kill myself, I dealt with it in silence. I never openly told anyone I needed help.

A Poem

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From a distance I thought I saw you today.
Your diminished self that I always looked down upon because I stand a few feet higher.
Yet, even in your little stature, the control you held over me was deafening.
It rocked me, swaying me from the beginning of our season to the end.
Was it you today that I saw searching through the shoes?
I quickly glanced at you and scurried away,
like I was still a wounded dog waiting for their master to help them.
Your hat sat on your head, cool in design with its backward placement,
even though you had a history older than my…

I watched Selena the Series: Part 2 a few nights ago.

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

It was so insightful. I stayed up until 5 am because I just couldn’t stop watching. As a fan of the Tejano singer, I didn’t know a lot of that behind-the-scenes information that they shared. It really went in-depth with the struggles she faced as she grew into her fame.

While Part 1 went into her early years and portrayals of her sibling’s stories, Part 2 focused on Selena and her marriage. In the movie, they only had a small window to show her life and the life of the rest of her bandmates, Los Dinos. …

A Poem

Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

I want me not being ok to be ok
When my mind turns into a portal that see things in 3D
This is why I don’t trust anyone,
Why every word I think or speak feels like an upheaval battle
That I never wished to fight in
I can’t even trust the people closest to me
Because every time I’m angry or sad
Because every time I’m happy or glad
There has to be something or someone to push it down
Something or someone to make it invalid
Something or someone that makes me think it would be a better world without me in it
Every time my irrational thoughts peek…

What is spaghetti squash?

Photo by henry perks on Unsplash

Known as the winter vegetable, spaghetti squash is quickly growing fame in the food realm. With its color shining a bright yellow and its shape and oval, spaghetti squash is becoming a quick favorite around the dinner table.

Similar to squashes you may already know with its texture with a strong flesh, the insides bare huge seeds right in the heart of the squash. The reason they call it spaghetti squash is because of its comparison in looks to spaghetti noodles. When cooked, spaghetti squash insides can be scraped out to unveil very noodle-like innards.

Reheating is quick and easy…

How To Quickly Get More Words Out

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I am someone who might have some ADHD going on. Who knows. What I do know is I become distracted very easily. I’ll start a task, then open a web browser to do the proper research. My mind will start to ask questions that hardly matter to anyone but me. Eventually what happens is I end up coming down to the wire on my deadline.

This happens time and time again. So, I started looking at different ways to stop this horrible habit and start a new one: being more productive.

One way I found is to utilize dictation. Shockingly…

What Am I Going To Do?

Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash

Today marks the first day that I can proudly declare that I am a full-time writer. I have been excited to get to this point but now I’m at a crossroads: what do I do now?

I left my retail management position, which I had been at for nearly 2 years. Going down to part-time was not enough for me to get my writing to a place where I was proud of, where I was becoming successful from it. I felt like if only I had a full day to get writing done, I…

Mary Jones

Mary is a creative writer. She writes a lot of poetry, some scripts, and a few short stories. Her inspiration is depression or happiness, depending on the day.

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